


Never let you drown (Trigger Warning)

by Malecftw



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: F/M, Panic Attack, shawn mendes - Freeform, shawn mendes angst, shawn mendes imagine, shawn mendes x reader, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 00:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19896700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malecftw/pseuds/Malecftw
Summary: So I got two requests for Shawn that I thought were pretty solid to combine so I'll just leave the requests here:Request 1: i love your writing so! how about a piece with shawn where he shows the reader the senorita music video for the first time and reader gets upset because of how close he is with camila in it?Request 2: Can you do an angst imagine with Shawn where you’re upset because of how close he’s been with Camila lately and midst argument about it he accidentally tells you that he’s made out with her or something? And then he’s trying to control his anxiety as you try to break up with him only for you to have to help him through an attack and decide to stay?In no way is this meant to antagonize Camila. I just added her cause well... I followed the requests.This imagine deals with a possible triggering topic, anxiety/panic attacks. Please don't read this if you get easily triggered.





	Never let you drown (Trigger Warning)

You pace around the room, not batting an eye at the man sitting on your shared bed. His head in his hands, pulling on his dark curls in regret. “Look y/n, I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.” “Yeah well, I did Shawn.” He looks down again in defeat when he sees you refusing to look at him. The shame was eating at your hurt pride. You never thought of yourself as a very proud person, which is why this situation was even worse. “The fucking nerve you have to show me THAT video YOU made with Camila and then act like it’s nothing? You’ve stooped too low Mendes.” “Y/n she doesn’t mean anything. We both chose this artistic route, which is all it is. She doesn’t compare to you, she never will.” You scoff at his weak defense, the audacity this man had to come into your home and disrespect you like this was beyond you. “So you chose to artistically suck her face off.” No emotion was to be heard in your voice, already done with this entire situation.

“I don’t want it to go public Shawn. This is embarrassing. If our relationship wasn’t public I’d get it because hey, everyone would think you’re single right. But we’ve been openly dating for 3 years. 3 fucking years. I can already see all the comments, the headlines, the drama channels. It’s just gonna cause problems and I’m not here for it.”  
“Come on babe, you know I can’t do that. Do you realize how much money went into this? Plus it’s not just my video, it’s Camila’s as well.” You pull your hand out of his when he tries to pull you closer.  
“Hey if it means that much to you, feel free to date her instead of me. Maybe when you find another girl to put in one of your music videos she won’t mind. Maybe she’s cool with being disrespected worldwide.”

Shawn’s eyes glossed over as your words hit him hard. He didn’t realize what he’d done until now. He should’ve at least talked to you about it but the damage was done. The mere thought of you pulling a stunt like this on him made his blood boil so your reaction was something he should’ve seen coming.  
Silence filled the space before you said the two words that sent him into a panic. 

“Get out.”

“What? Babe, we can talk about this. We can work this out? Don’t do this?” He stood up, his legs feeling like jelly as he took a step towards you. You held up your hand, signaling him not to come any closer.  
“I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to talk to you. And I sure as hell don’t want to have the world mock me for being the stupid girlfriend who allowed the love of her life to cheat on her for a stupid fucking music video.”

Shawn started to object but he got interrupted. “We’re done.”

You walked out of the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts as you expected him to start packing his belongings, instead he went to sit back down on the bed.  
He knew he was supposed to give you some time and space, but he couldn’t focus. 

(tw)

His movements felt slow and his vision made it seem as if he was on a boat during a stormy night. The dizziness overtook him and he thanked the Lord he was sat on the bed, otherwise, he would definitely have fallen over. His fingertips felt tingly and his ears were ringing. He recognized the feeling but his brain was just a big blob in his skull right now. He couldn’t even force himself to go after you as his erratic breathing took over his entire upper body. His chest felt constricted and he grabbed at the navy blue shirt he was wearing.  
Little black specs started to dance over his cornea as he lost his balance. His knees hit the carpeted floor of the bedroom he’d shared so many memories in with you. Similar to a fever, he started to sweat, the carpet bringing no coolness to relieve his panicked state.

“Shawn?” You shouted, having noticed the pounding from the kitchen area where you were currently sat scrolling through Instagram. You didn’t receive an answer though which you found strange.  
Slowly you got up and made your way to the bedroom. The door creaked open as you carefully looked through the crack. There you saw Shawn, on his knees on your bedroom floor looking like he was about to have a fit or something.

The door was thrown open as you sprung into action. The skin of your knees broke a little as you came into contact hard with the floor, already feeling the carpet burn. A hand on his shoulder did nothing to get his attention so you started speaking loudly but calmly. “Shawn listen to me. It’s going to be okay. You’re okay. Breathe with me.” He let you push him in a sitting position, his back leaning against the side of the bed. “Shawn look at me.” Your voice was clear. Clear enough for him to hear through the ringing in his ears. His brown eyes looked straight into yours, a feeling of desperation was clearly visible.

“Breathe with me. In through the nose, out through the mouth.” You took the lead, showing him how to use the proper breathing technique. Every time his eyes glanced around the room, you squeezed his arm or touched his cheek. Anything to get him to focus on his breathing again.  
You breathed in for four counts, held your breath for four, and breathed out the same amount of time.

After about 15 minutes you could feel him coming back to it, looking exhausted from the intensity of the attack. You went to go sit next to him, your elbow leaning on the mattress as your fingers played with some of his curls, offering some extra comfort while his head laid on your shoulder. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, not sure what else to say.

You bit your lip. You were still pissed at him, but you knew he never had any malicious feelings towards you. “We still need to have a serious talk, but just rest for now.”  
He nodded slightly, closing his eyes.

“Thank you for pulling me back.” He muttered, knowing you’d get he was referring to the panic attack.

“I would never let you drown sweet.”


End file.
